Todays Meals & Thoughts

Today went pretty well as far as eating gluten free. The problem with eating gluten free is it's either all or nothing. When I am eating gluten filled food I have stomach pains and intestinal issues after each meal and in between as well. But, unfortunately I am just kind of used to it. Now that I am eating gluten free and really making sure nothing that has gluten in it comes close to my mouth its like my sensitivity heightens. It's like one little bread crumb can upset my stomach. For example, for breakfast I ate 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of GF bread and a small amount of cinnamon butter with a Clementine on the side. All things I ate for breakfast were GF but my stomach started hurting soon after finishing my meal. So, that means that either by using the toaster that is also used for regular bread my bread got some crumbs on it or the cinnamon butter that has shared a knife with a gluten filled product got gluten in it. And because this is my second day eating GF I can feel exactly when I have encountered gluten. It also happened again tonight for dinner. I went out to Denny's with my mom and grandma. I ordered 2 egg whites with turkey bacon and chicken sausage. All of which is supposedly GF. So, I suspect the bacon was grilled on the same surface that the pancakes are made thus contaminating my food. Also, the entrée came with a side of bread and I asked the waitress if I could get fruit or yogurt as a substitute and it was going to cost me extra. I didn't want the bread and the other side but just a substitution. It just gets frustrating going out to eat and my husband and I really enjoy doing this. I will have to make it work though because this is now a lifestyle for me. I can't go back for my health.


I went to a whole foods store and found some good deals. I bought some GF pancakes (blueberry and plain 2 for $6.00), rice pasta ($1.99 a bag) as well as some spinach and some apples and so on. I think I want to make fish and rice for dinner tomorrow. We will see how adventurous I want to get.


Today's Meals:


Breakfast:
2 scrambled eggs
1 slice GF bread
1 clementine


Lunch:
Tuna salad on GF crackers


Dinner:
2 scrambled eggs
2 slices of turkey bacon
1 patty of chicken sausage
grits


Snack:
1 homemade GF brownie (MMMmmmm....)

Today I Stepped on The Scale.....

and it was not pretty! I posted a while ago that I was having a difficult time in life right now and that is still true. I lost my job and have not been able to find a new one. I am having a really hard time with that because I am a person that loves work and loves to stay busy. I hate that I haven't worked a day since December 5, 2010. It is awful. And of course as a result I have gained weight and a significant amount. I weighed myself today and the scale said 298.2lbs. I just want to cry.... On my very first weigh in post I said that I would never see the weight that was on there and now I have surpassed it. It is not a good feeling. But, I will just pick myself up and move on. That's what I have to do. I CAN NOT let this be the end of this journey. I have to push forward and keep trying to win this battle. I WILL win this battle. I hope to start getting back on track. I have been feeling really down lately and literally have just been sleeping and sitting on the couch. That has to change. I can't live this super lazy life that I have been. Job or no job, I have to take care of my health. So, a fresh start? I think so!

Not Keeping My Promises...

So, I obviously haven't kept my promises this week. I haven't blogged at all and it makes me sad. My eating has been terrible. I really NEED to work on my relationship with food and how I utilize it to comfort me in difficult times. It's such a hard habit to break. I feel as if sometimes it's truly an addiction that I struggle with. An addiction that like any other addiction can feel like the hardest thing to stop. I will work on this. I can't afford not to, my health can't afford for me to eat like this. I will beat this monster within.....